SCP-2941-J

Item #: SCP-2941-J

Object Class: Stay-The-Fuck-Away

Special Containment Procedures:  SCP-2941-J must be contained in a cold-generating box also know as refrigerator, SCP-2941-J must be inside the vegetables crate on top of the meat crate, never in the same crate to evade taste-transference (experience). The refrigerator must be guarded by 1 guard, and for the last time, the next guard who tries to open it for a beer will be TERMINATED.

Description: SCP-2941-J is what appears to be a 20cm Eggplant, SCP-2941-J seems completly non-anomalus until a person/sentient being enters in contact with it, when this happens, SCP-2941-J-2-J will materialize 2km away.

SCP-2941-J-2-J appears to be a man on his 30's, 1,79cm heigth, brown eyes and hair with white sideburns. wearing a black coat with purple stains on it, and a long katana-like sword known as a "Sephiroth" katana (any attempts to remove the sword or the sideburns have been unsuccessful). Exactly 1 minute after contact with SCP-2941-J, SCP-2941-J-2-J will start running towards the contact site, SCP-2941-J-2-J will be COMPLETELY unstoppable, here are the list of things we did to try to stop it:
 * A wall
 * A Reinforced wall.
 * A Reinforced wall, and a wall.
 * A banana in the ground.
 * A old lady from the supermarket who always gets in front of you at the cashier even when you were first.
 * A traffic light.
 * A wall made by Trump.
 * Your mom.
 * A Eggplant.

While SCP-2941-J-2-J is running, he will murmurs certain words, here is a list:
 * Welcome to the party!
 * Remember with who you are talking
 * Wipe that smile off your face
 * You are the green horns, the new comers
 * adiós (In a very racist, Mexican way)
 * Soy Mugen Kagemaru de la Internet Detectives


 * And what does that make you? No, don't answer. I'll tell you. You're worse than a waste of space. You're an utterly worthless piece of garbage, reveling in his spite to compensate for his own pathetic loneliness, since you're the only person you'll ever love - and with your attitude - the only person who will ever love you. I'm actually trying to do shit with my life, while you sit there throwing shit at everyone you talk to, some of whom take your shit in stride since, despite how much it hurt them, it somehow makes them laugh. I mean really, let's even make this relevant! What have you done to help us in the ARG in the time you've been here - unlike the the other folks here who have never said a word since they were added - you've actually been active in here, but instead of making your sorry ass useful, you disrupt gameplay and don't even attempt to, oh I don't know, try to solve those ciphers from early in the game that still haven't been solved? At least I can justify my own lack of effort on that front, I generally suck at solving ciphers, so what's you're excuse?

Once SCP-2941-J-2-J has reached the contact site. he will [Redacted] SCP-2941-J, once SCP-2941-J-2-J is done, SCP-2941-J-2-J will [Redacted] a new copy of SCP-2941-J, is unknown how SCP-2941-J-2-J is able to [Redacted] such large item.

SCP-2941-J-2-J will procede to put SCP-2941-J in the refrigerator, then run away in the opposite direction, de-materializing 2km away."Interview Log 2941-J-01"Date: 06/01/2019

Interviewer: Doctor Fluttershy

Interviewee: SCP-2941-J, The Eggplant.

[BEGIN LOG]

Doctor: "So, Can you state your name and birthdate?"

2941-J: "..."

Doctor: "If you collaborate with us, you will not have your rights revoked"

2941-J: "..."

Meanwhile, in the room behind the fake mirror

Doctor 2: When will he realize the paper document was edited so it says 2941-J is sentient?

Doctor 3: SHH not now, he is screaming at it."Interview Log 2941-J-02"Date: 06/01/2019

Interviewer: Doctor Fluttershy

Interviewee: SCP-2941-J-2-J, The Guy that appers when the eggplan is touched.

[BEGIN LOG]

Doctor: "NOW, is this sentient? yes? okay, ejem, SCP-2941-J-2-J, State your name and birthdate."

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "Mn. Name is █████ Kagemaru, birthdate is something I don't know"

Doctor: "Why do you appear when SCP-2941-J is touched?"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "Why the hell would I know?"

Doctor: "Well I-"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "I don't have time for this no sense, I must reach my Shardis."

Doctor: "Uh, what is a Shardis?"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "..., tsh, alright, i will explain to ya."

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "The Shardis stands for Space and Hyperspace Advance trought Dilated and Illogical Superworn holes"

Doctor: "And that would be...?"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "OK OK it's a Tardis, are you happy now, Fluttershy?"

Doctor: "I haven't told you my-"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "You did, long ago, perhaps too long for you to remember."

Doctor: "Okay... First question, why do you want try to reach SCP-2941-J touch scene?"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "I don't know, I just feel the need of reaching it."

Doctor: "Second question, why do you █████ SCP-2941-J?"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "I have never done that. or can remember."

Doctor: "We have recording about the incidents. Would you like to see them?"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "Alright"

The doctor shows the recordings to Kagemaru.

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "WAIT IS THIS ANOTHER JOS VIDEO AND THEIR PENISES JOKES???"

Doctor: "I don't know what are you talking about, who is Jos?"

SCP-2941-J-2-J: "WAIT A SECOND, YOU ARE JOS!"

Doctor: "I'm not, GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF ME"

Security guards enters the room and taser SCP-2941-J-2-J, which seems ineffective, SCP-2941-J-2-J grabs the Doctor and breaks the wall of the room, after 2km away, both SCP-2941-J-2-J and Doctor are nowere to be found.

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